It was the best of times, it was the worst of times- Charles Dickens

Why the title? Because literally life has felt that it was the best of times, where you are having a lot of goals met and even things on your bucket list ticked, yet it can feel like the worst of times because ‘life can be lifing’ (Gen Z’s will be proud of this 35 year old mama). Life can get so heavy with the burden of your blessing that you get exhausted, tired that you can’t meet up with your friends as much, tired from actually meeting life’s goals (another work certification in the bag)- the list can go on!

During the first few years of my first career, I was told by a senior women ‘Jackie you just have to juggle all the balls in the air…you can’t drop any’. Huh? Firstly, I needed some guidance not a pep talk and secondly her tone was more had an glaze of a condescending taste more than encouragement.

However, years down the line I will never forget her statement, nor will I forget Kimora Lee Simmons statement of ‘women can have it all but not all at the same time’.

So follow me as we juggle life’s balls in this article.

I remember turning 30 and feeling as though I was ‘behind in life’. As I lamented to my dad my failings, he reminded me of my successes and used them as to reassure me of how good life had been for me. He often reminds me that I have so much more time and life ahead of me. 5 years later he still reassures me that there is still enough time to do more. Maybe it’s the pandemic or my nature but I often have an unsatiable desire to get things done sooner rather than later for fear of running out of time. Juggle the ball of time… when do you accelerate one thing but put another on cruise control? If everything followed the law of delayed gratification then how do you explain why some lost $1000’s in cryptocurrency because they didn’t cash out soon enough. It takes wisdom.

Wisdom… get wisdom!

Making it wherever you are! As our global village becomes smaller and social media expands, we are able to see how other parts of the world live. I’ve come to see millionaires everywhere. An IT career in Ghana could make you $$, in the UK $$$ but in America $$$$$$$ (simply go on the finance transparency pages on social media). Sometimes we can see the grass as greener on the other side, and sometimes the opposite is true – I know more $$$$$$$ in Ghana than I do anywhere else on this planet and people on government support in the Weest. Sometimes we can also speak from a place of envy and diminish other’s success or blessings i.e. ‘yeah, they make a lot but I bet you their tax is high, so they probably don’t take much home anyways!’ or ‘Yes they are rich, but do you know how much dodgy things they did to get there?’. All could be true, but either way I have come to learn- wherever your feet will go, believe you can make it.

Making it….

Now I am almost at the noon of my life, I keep thinking of legacy, what will I leave my future lineage? I know the good Book says riches do not last forever nor does a crown last all generations and even Instagram Warren Buffet (the memes that always has old or deseaced authors for excellent but generic quotes), yes even he says wealth does not last more than 5 generations. But how do I build on what my parents gave me and not only pass unto my children but ensure I instil the discipline to build on it? Does every treat you give your child have to turn into a finance lesson, does every good dead be rewarded with a prize that comes with a tutorial on how to build? Must every conversation be laced with entrepreneurial lessons so they know that they should think about being employers too?

Multiple streams of…

You would think our generation coined that phrase themselves. Everyone (social media term for most/some people) seems to be or want to be a boss, CEO, side hustler extraordinaire and on a 6 figure pending 7 figure salary. But at what cost? Why are we trying to do everything so fast when statistically successful people peaked on average 10years later than what most of us now are trying to achieve. Did they have the right balance or are we a new and improved version of them? Could this be a reason for most of us feeling burnt-out, exhausted and simply just drained? Why are we rushing to do it all so soon? And now the fast pace has been set, if you ‘don’t keep up’ you can feel ‘left behind’. Can someone please reset this button for the general good of this generation?

They say it gets lonely at the top if you don’t take people with you…but wont that slow you down?

Relationships- if you are blessed to have family and friends especially longterm friends you will know you will not always want the same things, more importantly everyone’s definition of ‘success’ is different. We will all be chasing different things. When is it selfish not to tell that friend about a good deal or lucrative business path and when is it using wisdom? As an over sharer (with my close peoples), I have curtailed my need to ‘bring people in’. I have learnt the balance of sharing something (as my personal duty to bring people up with me), but I will now only invest my time and energy in those who ask for further details support. But to my first point, everyone’s definition of ‘a good career’ or ‘perfect location to move to’ or the ‘best’ instrument for a child to start learning will be different. Don’t feel guilty for climbing a successful ladder, but its also not your duty to impose your value of something on someone.

Leaders are born not made (you decide)

Whether you are a mother, a wife, a sister, an aunt or even the whatsapp group admin- leadership requires a lot of soft power. You will make mistakes but like my dad says… you have time. Time to perfect and time to polish some tools you’ve mastered along the way. Tomorrow is a new day to try something new with someone you lead. You said the right thing with the wrong tone that didn’t land well? Someone took your advice 6 months later but forget to connect the dots that you actually were right (and now you’re here biting your tongue really wanting to say ‘I tol…’ Don’t! Your goal is to get to the right destination not for those around you to know you were right. Be a leader with a servant spirit.

Did I seem all over the place? Well remember life is all about juggling the balls. I haven’t even mentioned the ball of friendship, having fun or our changing body. But unlike the advice I was given I will change the ending to say- balls can be dropped, because they can be picked back up again and most importantly do not juggle it alone seek help from the One who created you.

Jackie Manu